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Archive for December 5th, 2013

I’m on the edge, the cusp, the jumping off point of my start to recovery and healing…   It’s off to the counselor I go.

I think she will be really good for me.  She seems like a very nice lady, from her emails.  I am anxious to meet her and get started, but yet am extremely nervous.  I hope this helps me. I am not used to telling a total stranger all my dirty secrets face to face… so pray my typing skills carry over into my verbal skills 🙂

There are so many areas for us to work on. So many areas I need to have fixed, like, immediately…

I’m glad I am seeing her today, it’s already started out pretty bad:

The boy was angry, VERY angry…. temper tantrum angry, not sure why… maybe he was sleepy, maybe he was Aspie-ing out on me. (I know that’s not a word, but anyways)

The girl is needing a med change, desperately.  She is clingy and needy, weepy and violent.

The babysitting baby is here early, she is a good baby, but just adds to the mess.

I spent the whole day at work yesterday  with “Mary Sunshine and Christian Happiness”. (She is a whole other blog on her own. )

I am ready for some of this load to be lifted.  Some of this burden to be, at least, redistributed at best!

I still am on auto pilot, on life support, exhausted and drained.

So, Wish me luck… Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me and my new counselor.  I hope she is “The One”.

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Weighty Ghost

I got out of bed today,

Swear to God I couldnt see my face

I  got out of bed today staring at a ghost

Who forgot to float away,

didnt have  all that much to say

Wouldnt even tell me his own name

Whered my body  go

Where oh whered my body go?

Africa or Mexico?

Where oh whered my body go?

Whered my body go?

Have you seen my ghost?

Staring at the ground?

Have you  seen my ghost?

Sick of those goddamn clouds

Are you some kind of medicine man?

Cut the demons out of my head

You cant kill something thats already dead

Just leave my soul  alone

I dont need no surgery

Take those knives away from me

Just wanna  die in my own body

A ghost just needs a home

~  Wintersleep – Weighty Ghost

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