“The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to the ocean —
Holding the curve of one position,
Counting an endless repetition.”
— Robert Frost, “Devotion”img_0033


Questionnaire: Do You Suffer from Debilitating Shame Due to Childhood Abuse?

1. Do you blame yourself for the abuse you experienced as a child?

2. Do you believe your parent (or other adult or older child) wouldn’t have abused you if you hadn’t pushed him or her into doing it?

3. Do you believe you were a difficult, stubborn, or selfish child who deserved the abuse you received?

4. Do you believe you made it difficult for your parents or others to love you?

5. Do you believe you were a disappointment to your parents or family?

6. Do you feel you are basically unlovable?

7. Do you have a powerful inner critic who finds fault with nearly everything you do?

8. Are you a perfectionist?

9. Do you believe you don’t deserve to be happy, loved, or successful?

10. Do you have a difficult time believing someone could love you?

11. Do you push away people who are good to you?

12. Are you afraid that if people really get to know you they won’t like or accept you? Do you feel like a fraud?

13. Do you believe that anyone who likes or loves you has something wrong with them?

14. Do you feel like a failure in life?

15. Do you hate yourself?

16. Do you feel ugly—inside and out?

17. Do you hate your body?

18. Do you believe that the only way someone can like you is if you do everything they want?

19. Are you a people pleaser?

20. Do you censor yourself when you talk to other people, always being careful not to offend them or hurt their feelings?

21. Do you feel like the only thing you have to offer is your sexuality?

22. Are you addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, shopping, gambling, or stealing, or do you suffer from any other addiction?

23. Do you find it nearly impossible to admit when you are wrong or when you’ve made a mistake?

24. Do you feel bad about the way you’ve treated people?

25. Are you afraid of what you’re capable of doing?

26. Are you afraid of your tendency to be abusive—either verbally, emotionally, physically, or sexually?

27. Have you been in one or more relationships where you were abused either verbally, emotionally, physically, or sexually?

28. Did you or do you feel you deserved the abuse?

29. Do you always blame yourself if something goes wrong in a relationship?

30. Do you feel like it isn’t worth trying because you’ll only fail?

31. Do you sabotage your happiness, your relationships, or your success?

32. Are you self-destructive (engaging in acts of self-harm, driving recklessly, suicidalattempts, and so on)?

33. Do you feel inferior to or less than other people?

34. Do you often lie about your accomplishments or your history in order to make yourself look better in others’ eyes?

35. Do you neglect your body, your health, or your emotional needs (not eating right, not getting enough sleep, not taking care of your medical or dental needs)?

There isn’t any formal scoring for this questionnaire, but if you answered yes to many of these questions, you can be assured that you are suffering from debilitating shame. If you answered yes to just a few, it is still evident that you have an issue with shame.



The Benefits of Practicing Self-Compassion

By learning to practice self-compassion you will also be able to begin doing the following:

o Truly acknowledge the pain you suffered and in so doing, begin to heal

o Take in compassion from others

o Reconnect with yourself, including reconnecting with your emotions

o Gain an understanding as to why you have acted out in negative and/or unhealthy ways

o Stop blaming yourself for your victimization

o Forgive yourself for the ways you attempted to cope with the abuse

o Learn to be deeply kind toward yourself

o Create a nurturing inner voice to replace your critical inner voice

o Reconnect with others and become less isolated

I hope I have been able to convey to you how self-compassion can help heal you of your shame. But it is difficult to adequately explain this concept in one blog. In the coming weeks I will write more blogs about how shame can be healed with self-compassion and explain to you how you can go about becoming more self-compassionate. As you continue reading the blogs and practicing the exercises you will grow to more fully understand what a powerful healer compassion can be.

“That I Would Be Good”

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

Lonely float got in the way
You are the feel, and knew it anyway
Take a chance, it wasn’t what you know
Take my hand, and don’t let go

You can do it,
Don’t break
Yeah, you’ll pull through it,
You’re safe
Yes, you can do it
Don’t break
Yeah, you’ll pull through it,
You’re safe

Tell her on how you feel,
Give her every say she needs to hear
Give your heart, and say come take it
And she will see you’re a good man

You can do it,
Don’t break
Yeah, you’ll pull through it,
You’re safe
Yes, you can do it

Don’t break
Yeah, you’ll pull through it,
You’re safe
Yes, you can do it,
Don’t break
Yeah, you’ll pull through it,
You’re safe


The Forest

As you’re traveling through the forest alone the wind blows up to you. you welcome this company because you feel so alone, exposed in the elements. you’re looking for home, but you can’t find your way. The wind knows your name, knows your intentions and breezily, like the wind does, tries to convince you that you are not alone in this forest.

The wind is with you. This is fine for some time. You continue on.

As time passes you are convincing yourself that you are making progress, that each step is towards something of substance and not away. The wind, nimble and lithe follows you, maybe even goading you along at times until you realize that the wind isn’t with you so much as it’s just near you, you were really alone the whole time.

Each step you took a song, and each song a story and each story a tear drop each tear drop has a heart each heart has a wish. As you turn around to see how far you’ve come you see clearly that each step you took, you were alone and how you will remain alone, lost amongst the trees.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them – words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?

The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly…. only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.

That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

There is still a part of my heart that beats for you, a tingle in my lips that longs for you, a movement in my hips that wishes you’d hold them.

I will still welcome you with warm smiles and embraces with my chest close against yours. You may still chuckle at my clumsiness and watch me as I move my hands through my hair when I speak. I will still want to bite on your bottom lip and knot my fingers in your hair, but I have come to learn that want and need are drastically different things, so my hands will remain by my side. You will catch me twiddling a finger through my hair and you may ignore that, but I don’t blame you.

For I am but a flower, a blossom blooming uncontrollably within this little physique that I cannot help but despise, and you are a newborn lamb, vulnerable and stumbling, not sure of himself and therefore never sure of me


art. popular since 10,000 BC

Rosemary Washington: Chapter Two

Art, books, nature, food, and the good things in life

The Life and Times of Nathan Badley...

just like Moby Dick, but shorter and less whale-oriented.

living in stigma

Mental illness stigma and connection with those struggling with chronic pain

Tripping Through Treacle

Stumbling Through Life with MS


“Take me to your trees. Take me to your breakfasts, your sunsets, your bad dreams, your shoes, your nouns. Take me to your fingers.”


Living with an invisible illness

Intentional Existence

Crafting the lives we want, NOW!

Courage Coaching


Adrenal Fatigue & Hypothyroidism study

Conducted by an international team of homeopaths


A great WordPress.com site

Attila Ovari

Loving Life and Inspiring Others

Easy Peasy All-in-One Homeschool

A complete, free online Christian homeschool curriculum for your family and mine

A Slice of Bree

The blog of Bree Hoskin, a writer with a passion for pop culture and dance floors

No More Words

Writings, in categories of Misc & Other, from your friend Xavier F Smith


My heart, mind and soul...transcribed!


News You Can Use from The Writers' League of Texas

Nail Your Novel

Nail Your Novel - Writing, publishing and self-publishing advice from a bestselling ghostwriter and book doctor

Roz Morris, author

'A unique voice rising in contemporary fiction'