Posts Tagged ‘libido’

He invited me over that first night, after having had MANY texts and Facebook conversations about the lack of sex we were having, with the simple phrase of…. “so, you want to be Friends With benefits?”  Of course I said “yes” immediately and drove the 12 minutes to his house.  I hadn’t even seen him since December of 2006… but there I was, freshly shaved and ready for some well needed sex.  We chatted for a few minutes, then without warning he leaned over and started kissing me. We immediately went to his bedroom and had some fabulous, if not a little weird and dej-a-vouish, sex.

I left feeling happy and satisfied, ready for this new chapter in my life. Ready for the man I had missed sooooo very much to be back in my life.  We saw each other a few weeks later…. then again  a few weeks later and so it began….. our every few weeks relationship.  Only, we weren’t having sex every time we saw each other.

Oh, I was ready each time. I was more than ready.  He is soooo good at knowing what I want. So good at knowing how to please me. It leaves me crac=ving more and more.  But he kept putting me off.  “I’m so tired’, “It’s too hot”, “I don’t feel like it”, I made the comment one night that I feel like the guy in this relationship.

I guess one of the things that bothers me most, is the fact that when our relationship ended 5 years ago… it was because he had chosen to date somebody else.  No, he never cheated, and I belive him on that one, but he had kissed her, and unbenounced to me… after he kissed her, he didn’t want to even hug me because he thought it would “lead me on” and he didn’t want to hurt me more.  Sweet, in a way… but not really what you want to have floating around in the back of your head when he is once again not in the “mood”.

I have asked him about it, and he has a legitimate argument that he has never had a very high libido, and that his job is very stressful and very physically demanding, which it is…. but I still want to be close to him.  Share that intimacy… be his benefit 🙂  I told him tonight that without the sex and with all the talking and time we spend together I might as well be his girlfriend instead of his Friend With benefits.. Ha!

I have invited him over in the morning for a cuddle after my night shift… he said he doesn’t wake up in the “mood”…. we shall see if he shows up, I left it up to him.  I’m not holding my breath.

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