Archive for the ‘L&D’ Category

The boss I have mentioned in earlier posts as decided that I am someone who is “broken”. Someone that needs to be fixed, remedied, cured, changed. She says that because I don’t “make it a point to be friends with the nurses, that I am like working with Oil and Water”. She said I have a wall up and nobody can get past it.

I was speechless. Aghast. Who did she think she was? I wasn’t even in trouble with my actual WORK. I was in trouble for not being like THEM. And to make matters worse, I’m still not sure even who she was even referring to. I go to work on time, I do my job very well, the nurses I work with like me, we all work well together. I am always busy, not trying to sit around and read and watch tv like some of the others. (This is nights by the way, not the day shift) Just because I don’t join in gossip or raunchy talk of men and sex doesn’t mean I am being standoffish and unsociable. As far as I can figure, there are maybe 2-4 nurses that just don’t like me as a person the other 98% like me.

So the director left our visit with me promising to try to change and work harder to fit in…

I don’t know if I can, and I certainly don’t think I can change 38 years of bricks in my wall. I am at a loss with what my next step should be. Do I put up with this another 2 years? Do I try to find a new job? I’m at a complete and total loss of heart….

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Death Threats

So it has been brought to my attention that I have been turned in by a co-worker for making a death threat on Facebook. (((Sigh)))
Now I have been called into the Directors office to discuss this “very serious situation and some other “team Player” issues”.
If you will please keep in mind while reading this, that I am the one that’s been ranting on here for the past year about being bullied at work, being picked on and singled out by the Director and her cronies.  Having been treated so badly for so long, I had finally had my fill. I am still suffering the effects of Paxil withdrawal and sleep deprivation. I have taken, and taken and taken the crap dished out at work and never said a word to anyone or done anything.
Anyways, so a nurse got a little high and mighty the other night, snapped her fingers at me and told me to go make her a delivery table. I already had made a table and was actually resting for a minute before I got back busy, so rather than jump down her throat and make a scene, I just sat there and continued looking at my magazine. (Yes, being a little pointedly obstinate , but not saying a word.) Two other nurses witnessed it, and both were watching in shock, ready to see hair fly. I was embarrassed, flustered, shocked and MAD that she had spoken to me in this manner. The night continued on without me saying anything to her at all. The charge nurse was told by the other nurses, but I never had my say. Nobody ever asked.
Well, Mistake number ONE: Saying something on Facebook. I should never have said it… But I did, everyone saw it… and now I’m in big trouble.
Mistake number two: Not saying anything to the nurse at the time it happened. I should have said “Hey, please don’t ever speak to me and snap your fingers that way at me again”. Or something like that, but I didn’t. I am to timid and too scared to speak up, so as a writer… what do I do? I vent. I vent with my fingers. I vent to people who actually care, like my friends on Facebook.
She saw it, got… scared??? I suppose? And proceeded to turn me in for making threats 😦 This is what I said:

“Someone doesn’t realize just how close she really came to death when she snapped her fingers and ordered me around like a child last night… very close indeed!”

Whats the verdict? Have any of you ever said anything in anger and gotten in trouble with work?
I know, from experience, that the Director will not even care about the Paxil thing. She will not want to hear excuses or reasoning. She wants to reprimand me, write me up and be done with it. I am devastated that this has been so blown out of proportion, but what can i do? I can’t deny it, it was right there for everyone to read. How do I face my co-worker again without animosity? I mean, poor dumb girl… not my fault she’s stupid and vindictive! 😦 Ugh! I go Tuesday morning for my meeting… Any advice?


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Just been extremely busy.  My momma has been gravely ill, almost passed away on us last week.  But she is slowly recovering and things are claming down a bit.  I can tell I haven’t been writing, my mind is so jumbled and full of randomness.  I hope to purge some of it soon… but until then, just know I am still alive 🙂  And, know that my Cable Guy has really stepprd up and been there for me during this past few weeks… he is amazing, and I know he loves me… he is showing it in so many ways! mY HEART IS SO VERY HAPPY 🙂

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So I have alot going on right now, and I am extremely tired and very VERY stressed out.

I may be about to change career paths.  I have posted before about the “mean girl” but that does not even begin to explain the bosses at this stupid hospital.  I don’t want to get into it right now, but I don’t think I will be here much longer.  I have given my all to the L&D floor for the past year, and have not had anything but negativity come from the higher-ups.  I’m DONE 😦

On a much happier note, I get to see the Cable Guy tonight! 🙂  It is a forced date, on my part… but Hey! It’s a date! AND after 6 weeks of waiting.. I finally get sex again! 🙂

Wish me luck! 🙂

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